Coming home from my mission, in my last interview with my mission President he said the most important choice you will ever make in this life is who you will marry. That puts a lot of pressure if there wasn’t already some. 

There seems to be all of these formulas for successful dating and how to find “the one.” And there are a lot of things I agree with. 

For example, there was this theory we discussed in class that I felt could help lead to a successful partnership and relationship. It’s called the RAM model. Which stands for the relationship attachment model. There are five attributes or five things you want to develop with if your relationship. But the catch is one of these qualities cannot be higher than the one before it. So the qualities are know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. So when you begin a relationship you don’t want it to be solely based on touch, or be committed so fast without knowing the person all that well. 

So while we were talking about this model and really all the things we talked about how to be “successful at dating” all I could think about was when my now husband and I started dating. 

I loved my first date with my husband. It was so easy and just fun. We ended up meeting in the middle of the two cities we were in (we were two hours apart). And it was just easy. I can’t really describe it better than that. It was easy to hold a conversation and it was just fun. We were able to have a good time with little to no plans and without spending a lot of money. 

But as I was sitting in class I started to wonder about the dating process my husband and I went though. I started to wonder and worry if we were doomed to a whole bunch of marital problems. Because again, this decision is huge. In a quote by Spencer W Kimball he says, “Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but eternal joy as well. It affects not only the two people involved, but their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations." 

This can sound really daunting and scary. But marriage is ordained of God, and I believe to be one the sources of joy. So I think the greatest thing to look at before getting married is the level of commitment. Because, if two people are willing to work together and make sacrifices you can have a successful marriage. 

From what I gathered in class their different processes and methods that can lead to a healthy relationship right from get go. But I think it not only the fact of how well you know the person that plays a big factor in the relationship. But the fact that two people are willing to try. Granted there are people who just may not be compatible or who have different goals or who are at different places in life that just may not work. 

But at the end of the day no matter how my husband and I’s dating process could be rated, I am committed and would choose him over and over. Because, of the experiences we have had with each other and the commitment that developed, I know that we can have a happy and successful marriage. Not to say that it won’t be hard and full of challenges, but it will be full of love, growth, and joy. And I will forever be grateful for the easiest first date, and finding someone who will be committed to me and our future family.