Traditions

You know how your family just has these unspoken rules? You know like little family traditions. Typically, when I hear the phrase “family traditions” my mind always goes to that song from fiddler on the roof, but also I think about Christmas. Like in my family we always get a new ornament for the year, and we always get new pajamas. It’s a lot of happy memories like those that I associate the word “traditions” positively.

                But some of the times, our “family traditions” or the culture within our family may be hurting our family relationships. Now when I think of family culture I think about my personal family. My mom was born and raised in the Philippines, while my dad was born in the US. Just between my parents I could pick up on some of the different ways they were raised. And I especially saw the culture difference when we would spend time with either of my parents extended family. But that was normal for me. Just like our own individual family culture is just the norm.

                Personally, I think there are a lot of family tradition and culture things that can bring out good qualities in individuals. For example, something that I love about my family culture is I feel comfortable talking to anyone in my family about anything. I always feel that I can go talk to my dad or call up my mom when I am struggling with something. Which I don’t think a lot of children have this kind of relationship with their parents. But something that was always taught and reinforced in my home was the idea that “mom and dad are always here for you and concerned for you.” That is a family culture that I would love to continue in my future family.

                Another positive culture aspect my family has is making sure everyone knows that they are loved. That love is typically expressed through words. My grandma would always tell me now “never forget that grandma loves you.” Just thinking of my sweet grandma say that phrase would get me through some hard times. In my family even though we can be mean, and like to poke fun of each other, we always say I love you.

                Now I know that not every family situation has some positive traditions like those. However, like you suspected my family is not perfect. And there are things that I would like to not happen in my future family. For example, sometimes if someone gets offended or really hurt in my family, they will just block themselves away. Sometimes even for multiple days someone may be holding in hurt feelings and shut themselves out from the individual or individuals that hurt them. It is so unhealthy to bottle things up, I know that, and yet I will still occasionally do it from time to time. But it’s something that my family just does. We will ignore the problem, or at least confronting it until it blows up.

                It’s a difficult thing for me to say that some family cultures are just bad and unhealthy. I have always been one with the mindset that it is nobody’s business but their own, or who am to tell them that is wrong. But I might be the one to say something is wrong, but there are natural, and God given laws that do tell us when something is wrong. And its so hard to watch harmful things go on in a family. Because I know that family can be a source of pure joy. It maybe difficult circumstances for some that it can’t be that way. But as a matter of fact, sometimes when the harmful things that go on in our families can because of foolish traditions. Something that I really took away from my lesson this week, was the simple fact that just because something is a tradition... doesn’t mean you have to keep living it. You can change traditions to be for good, rather than pain.